July 28, 2007

TechnoBabe Needs More Technical Expertise

Wow! For the past two weeks TechnoBabe has had to watch helplessly while James struggled with the physical demands of the move to the new domicile. The dog has not stopped barking for longer than 10 minutes in the two and a half weeks we have been in the new place. The computers were down for two weeks due to problems in the phone line so there was no DSL and when we switched to cable company for digital service they were unable to provide the service as well. So my persistent fiance worked for two days to learn the ins and outs of wireless service and set us up on our own wireless network. What a guy!!! And to make it even better, the cell phone service was not available at the new place either. The cell phone was with a different carrier than the DSL so that meant two companies to be contacted every day, and the only way he could contact anyone was to drive a few blocks away to the parking lot of the grocery store and make calls. I was at work during the day so I was not able to help and even if I had been here I could not have helped as I am a dope about hooking up the internet and not the technobabe as advertised. The truth is out. The techno behind the babe is James.
And I am so very grateful to him for hanging in there and completing the move and the trials and tribulations that went with it.

So we are getting settled in the new place, a few boxes left to unpack. The pictures are on the walls and we have cooked on the new stove.

This is a tribute to an amazing man who has endured and won. And won my heart again and again and again.

July 19, 2007

How Long Does It Take To Get Rid Of The Ex

We all have at least one ex. An ex-spouse, an ex-lover, an ex-friend. The key being EX. The longer we were in the relationship with the ex, it stands to reason the longer it takes to get over the ex. Even if it was an abusive relationship, we seem to want to carry around the memories and bring them out once in awhile like a photo album.

The question is: How long should it take to phase out the ex? I know the memories cannot and should not be eradicated. The experiences with the ex were a stepping stone to the present.

If we are harboring feelings of shame or remorse for any behavior toward the ex or any unkindness to the ex, even more difficult to clean out the closet completely.

I could shell out the $14.95 here for a book to help get over the ex, or I could just get over it. I choose the latter.

July 09, 2007

Monday Monday

I look forward to Wednesdays.

Sunday mornings too.

But Mondays still suck.

Ah well.

July 07, 2007

I've Been Tagged

What were you doing 10 years ago?

In 1997 I was I working as a mortgage processor and I was 3 years away from ending a long term marriage.

What were you doing 1 year ago?

I was with living with James and our dog and was self employed.

Five snacks you enjoy:

1. Raisins
2. Dried apricots
3. James' homemade carob candy
4. apples
5. cheese and crackers

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:

1. The Reason
2. The Star Spangled Banner
3. Peaceful Easy Feeling
4. Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
5. American Pie

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:

1. Buy acreage to build a simple home and have plenty of land
2. Put a Geodesic Dome on the land
3. Provide anonymous scholarships
4. Not have any debts
5. Quit my job

Five bad habits:

1.) Scratching my ear
2.) Interrupting
3.) Procrastinating when it is something I do not want to do
4.) Shutting down
5.) Avoidance

Five things you like doing:

1. Reading
2. Walking
3. Listening to music
4. Writing in my journal
5. Being with James

Five things you would never wear again:

1. A bathing suit
2. Large jewelry
3. Flannel nightgown
4. Blue nail polish
5. Formal clothes

Five favorite toys:

1. Bubbles
2. Darts
3. Squirt gun
4. Swing
5. Paints



July 06, 2007

Giving Up Daydreaming and Living For Real

I spent most of my life daydreaming. Not in a soft romantic way. Not in a planning the next day way. My daydreaming was a way to hide away from the cold cruel world and not be myself. I didn't have to feel real feelings or deal with real issues and I chose not to participate in my own life.

Too many things happened to me as a child and as a young adult that prompted my "absentmindedness" so to speak. To cover up the pain and to help me survive, I chose to close down and hide myself away and not get close to anyone and not let anyone see me and know the real me. That was hard work!!

Today I am getting to know myself. Today I am awake. Today I am feeling. Today I am getting healthy.

July 03, 2007

Independence VS Codependence

Independence. Autonomy. Liberty. Freedom.

Codependence. Powerlessness. Loneliness. Isolation.

I am learning to take responsibility for myself. Answers come from within.

As I learn how to care about myself and take care of myself, I find a new freedom.

I am finding my independence. And happiness.

Happy Independence Day to all who are healthy and all who want to be healthy and all who will one day want to be healthy. Health within self is true independence.