August 12, 2008

Spinning Up, Down, Sideways

For some reason I have heard the phrase downward spiral more often than upward spiral. Maybe that is because for most of my life I settled for the downer.

First of all, I have to be facing toward the front to move forward. And I do want that. Living in the present entails being in acceptance of current situations as they pertain to me.

My husband is bipolar. He was working so hard to complete a dream of composing music and playing guitar and putting out a CD. I watched him spiral into a manic state to a place that he was unable to completely finish the music and he is now is a mental health facility. I believe he was taking his meds but he would not seek professional help while he was still able to. Since I don't have bipolar disorder, I can't judge or criticize at all. It is so painful to see someone self destruct and remain powerless to help.

The peaceful life we moved 1500 miles to attain has slipped through our fingers. We did have a short time to enjoy it.

The near future is unknown as well as any long term events. Getting through each day one at a time right now is all we can do.

August 07, 2008

Keeping People Out

A fence is a way to keep people out. A barrier.
When I saw this graphic, it looks like I feel.
Some of the separate pieces of the fence have been replaced.
Some of my old habits have been replaced and I am stronger now that some of the weather worn tendencies have been eliminated.

A fence also represents a boundary. Having boundaries isn't a negative exclusion.
Setting boundaries is taking care of myself by first understanding what I want and need and then letting other people know what that is. A boundary isn't a wall or a fence to keep people from being with me. It's a way for me to set limits and for others to be safe and comfortable as well.

August 05, 2008

Tribute To A Beautiful Woman

“I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes. I’m out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.
-Marilyn Monroe (via Wikiquote)

In Marilyn Monroe's Official Website, words don't do justice to a woman who lived in foster homes as a child and was featured on a US Postage Stamp as a woman.

" Sadly, in a shocking turn of events on the early morning of August 5, 1962, 36-year-old Marilyn died in her sleep at her Brentwood, California home. The world was stunned. Marilyn's vibrant spirit and beauty made it impossible to believe she was gone. On August 8, 1962, Marilyn's body was laid to rest in the Corridor of Memories, #24, at Westwood Memorial Park in Los Angeles, California."

..."Today, the name "Marilyn Monroe" is synonymous with beauty, sensuality and effervescence. She remains an inspiration to all who strive to overcome personal obstacles for the goal of achieving greatness."