Groundhog Day 2011

Photo courtesy of National Geographic.

The oldest brother married a girl born on Feb 1. Then the second son married a girl born on Feb 3. Then I came along and married the third son. My birthday is Feb 2. You would think this was magical and meant to be. I thought so. Thirteen years and three children later we divorced. Thus began the search for answers. What did I do wrong? Why wasn't I enough? Why wasn't I good enough?

Years later and with the help of a wonderful therapist and a loving husband in my life now, I understand I was asking lame questions. Instead of constantly trying to make myself into someone other people would approve of, I have learned to get to know me. When I began therapy I had not ever looked at myself fully in a mirror. Just enough to put on eyebrows and comb my hair but not really see me.

Today I am happy to say it is my birthday. I like the woman I see in the mirror. The whole package. I do not strive to be someone to please anyone else. I have been learning how to be myself and fit into relationships with truth and dignity.

So hello, little groundhog, you and I have been buddies all these years. Whether you run from your shadow or not, I want to thank you for the additional enjoyment you have provided. Party down, little groundhog. In my own way I will too. Unlike you, there is no more running away for me. No longer am I afraid of my shadow.