February 26, 2011

Panegyric To A Ladybug

Rolly polly spotted
Cute little bug
Adorable creature
I just want to hug

Balancing on my glasses
You're a circus clown
Flying in the air
Walking upside down

You're really an insect
Eating aphids left and right
A short life span for you
Small yes, but so much might

Please return to the garden
To do the work you do best
Interesting that you are a bug
But never thought of as a pest

I wrote this as an apology to a ladybug who was following me around the house and then landed on my reading glasses. I saw a big dot on the glasses so I looked in the mirror and saw the ladybug. Oh, so cute. After awhile I didn't see it so I reached up with my right hand to remove my glasses, the ladybug squirmed and startled me and I dropped my glasses on the floor from a standing position. Oops. The glasses are fine though.

February 23, 2011

Kids Need Role Models

This photo was on Lola's blog one day. The writing on one window caught my attention. Do you see the window with the words "Kids Need Role Models"?

Having been raised in an unsafe environment, eventually marrying and raising daughters and a son, and now watching my grandchildren and children of their generation, it is clear that children cannot be raised by nannies or latch keys.

A good role model is not synonymous with a saint or a perfect human being. There is no such thing. We are all learning and hopefully we all want to leave a safe and happy place for the children in all the next generations. The beings that are a spark waiting to be born one day deserve at least what it was like when I came into this world. My personal situation was far from ideal, but the world around me was interesting and educational and encouraged my imagination and creativeness.

The area I lived as a child was acres and acres of orange groves. And farms. Lots of animals. I watched how the animals related to each other. Sometimes I think the animals are gentler and kinder to each other than humans.

February 19, 2011

Keep On Keeping On

The next time you feel down or start to feel depressed:

Put a smile on your face.

Stop and smell the roses.

Break out and live a new life, try new things.

Meditate and Contemplate, not just your navel.

Let your heart soar to new heights.

Keep your eye on your goal.

All photos and graphics courtesy of Desktop Nexus.

February 17, 2011

Constant Moves Till We Connected

Moving Around looking for each other
Changing relationships so often
Like trying on a new shirt or blouse
Keeping up the search for something
Not knowing what we were seeking
Starting over in different states
With new people each time
New work, new life, still looking
Getting closer in the same state
Just missing each other in one area
The universe devised the perfect plan
Circumstances smoothly engineered
Preparing us for the homecoming
In each others arms.

Graphic found on Google.

February 14, 2011

The V Day Hot Love

Sometimes something inspires me to write a post; a graphic, a sentence, a memory. A Valentines Day post comes naturally and does not need special assistance from outside influences.

Since I feel the same way each day of the year, the one day set aside in this country for the big Love Fest is pretty much routine for me. That does not mean it is not special; each day is.

Loving someone for me does not mean hanging on so tightly that my lover can barely breathe. It would take so much energy to keep squeezing that the generous kind of love in me would be smothered.

Valentines Day can be a fun day as long as it doesn't set someone up for a letdown like other holidays. Remember when we were kids and how important it was to get some Valentines cards from school mates? I didn't think of it at the time, but how horrible to be a kid who no one gave a card to. I always made my own cards and would customize each card to the recipient's personality. The class clown got a clown card. The brainiac got a gold star and A plus. The shy person got a curtain of material I sewed to the front of the card and when the curtain lifted there was a small mirror.

When I got to high school I did not participate in any extra curricular activities. Partly because I attended four different high schools and did not know that many people. The one thing that I disliked in high school was realizing the encouragement the "in" crowd received from teachers and each other. The popular people never paid attention to the shy people, the misfits, or the geeky people (the reason for the pic in this post). I would wonder if the people wanting to be in the popular crowd were the ones who did not receive Valentine cards when they were younger.

Love is not a romantic head in the clouds Hollywood movie response to the attention we receive from others. Love is genuinely caring and sincerely appreciating the small things between people. A person not in a romantic relationship is still loved. Is still worthy of a gigantic Valentine and a huge heart box of chocolates.

When I say "I love you", believe it. Happy Valentines Day no matter what is going on in your life right now. Do something for someone else, think of others today, pour some sincere love into the world on this Valentines Day, and enjoy when love is returned to you tenfold.

Happy Valentines Day.

February 10, 2011

The L Word

This is the time of year that the L word is on peoples lips and written about in poetry and heartfelt posts. Since I don't watch TV, I don't know how the L word is thrown around and defamed the way so many things I value are treated on TV.

For me, feeling treasured and cared for are reward enough at this stage of my hippie life. But being understood and accepted for who I am and where I've been and how I got here is the ultimate unconditional love. For most of my life I honestly believed that unconditional love was a fantasy; a bunch of crap. Something of a carrot held in front of people striving for relationships rich in pretentious symbols for all to see. My jaded view was partly due to the environment of my childhood, but it was easy for me to snag onto the sharp stone wall of disenchantment regarding true love.

There, I said it. The L word. Love. Before I met hubby, I rarely said the word except to my children. And I meant it with everything I had within me when I told my children I loved them. I was a tightwad lover, loving only those who were deserving. Once someone hurt me, they were dropped from my love list. Immature? Ignorant? Bad attitude? Yes, yes, yes.

Today I have a broader understanding of love. For me, in my life. Like religion, I don't believe love is something to be preached. It is learned from what we see around us for those with eyes to see. There are many examples of love in all the small kindnesses and respect humans show each other. What we allow into our hearts and minds by watching and absorbing is what we are retaining. We watch enough smut and we live smut. We watch enough goodness and we are able to share goodness. Not the phony hey look at me I am so wonderful and holy pretend goodness. Love is learned through our experiences and subsequent behavior.

As I continue my recovery from codependency, I am learning more about love. Forgiving others has removed the restraints of regret, hate, fear. Forgiving myself is almost a giddy sensation. Who knew freedom felt like this? At last the L word isn't hollow and futile. It is worthwhile, like me.

Note: Picture found on Google.

February 07, 2011

Keeping Warm, Baby

A drunk man found lying on a frozen park bench in his underwear survived because of the amount of alcohol in his blood.

Aleksander Andrzej, 32, was spotted in the Warsaw park - where the temperature was -5C - and taken to hospital by police, reports Metro.

A breath test showed he had 1,024 micrograms per 100ml, nearly 30 times the legal limit for driving, which doctors say helped him live.

They believe alcohol in his blood acted like anti-freeze - on the other hand it may have played a part in him ending up on a frozen park bench in his underpants.

Doctors say he is lucky to have survived - even 300mg of alcohol per 100ml can be deadly - but he is expected to make a full recovery.

I can't add anything to this. On one hand I am glad the guy survived; on the other hand I hope he doesn't do it again.

Photo found on Google.

February 04, 2011

These Pens Were Made For Writing, And That's Just What They'll Do

Aren't these beautiful pens? They are handmade, hand turned, with love.

These pens are made from wood in Africa.

My real name is on my pen so I turned it over and sweet hubby substituted TechnoBabe on the photo.

The pen for James has pewter parts and my pen is gold color. And mine is a little smaller to fit my dainty hand.

The man who made them has been married to my foster sister for about 45 years. I was in the wedding party and they have treated me like a blood sister all these years.

This isn't the first gift from them made in his wood shop. One time he made my name out of wood, kept it natural wood, and it was quite large. My name is pretty cool so the wooden plaque looked awesome. There have been many Christmas ornaments and designs and angels too.

I think the pens are for a special occasion for my birthday.

February 02, 2011

Groundhog Day 2011

Photo courtesy of National Geographic.

The oldest brother married a girl born on Feb 1. Then the second son married a girl born on Feb 3. Then I came along and married the third son. My birthday is Feb 2. You would think this was magical and meant to be. I thought so. Thirteen years and three children later we divorced. Thus began the search for answers. What did I do wrong? Why wasn't I enough? Why wasn't I good enough?

Years later and with the help of a wonderful therapist and a loving husband in my life now, I understand I was asking lame questions. Instead of constantly trying to make myself into someone other people would approve of, I have learned to get to know me. When I began therapy I had not ever looked at myself fully in a mirror. Just enough to put on eyebrows and comb my hair but not really see me.

Today I am happy to say it is my birthday. I like the woman I see in the mirror. The whole package. I do not strive to be someone to please anyone else. I have been learning how to be myself and fit into relationships with truth and dignity.

So hello, little groundhog, you and I have been buddies all these years. Whether you run from your shadow or not, I want to thank you for the additional enjoyment you have provided. Party down, little groundhog. In my own way I will too. Unlike you, there is no more running away for me. No longer am I afraid of my shadow.