We cross paths with so many people in a lifetime. How we look at them and how we treat each one says a lot about our character. Do we really see each person? Do we think we are a pretty good person because we discount only some of the people we meet? Only the ones who don't have the drive to "be" someone, to achieve enough to be recognized. That's all right, isn't it? We can justify ignoring and thinking less of some others because we have worked hard to be who we are, to get where we are, and it is good to be proud of our achievements. Crossing paths with someone who may want something from us, or who might take some of our precious time is only an inconvenience. We don't need to be respectful of each one we meet; some of them just don't deserve it.
I wonder how many people really live like this. Really believe this. Missing out on so much. So much.
26 comments:
I'm not sure if I'm guilty, or not, since I generally avoid people. I don't discriminate, I pretty much avoid them all, equally. However, when I do cross paths with people, I'm always nice and respectful, unless they do something that causes me to be otherwise.
I have tended to take the view that everyone is worth my time unless they prove otherwise.
However, I must admit that I have become quicker to judge in recent years - too much time invested in people who vanished like Scotch Mist when I needed help...
not sure how to respond, but I like the photo :)
I like to think about what I can learn from someone who crosses my path. That is one of the things I like about blogging.....we can learn from and about people apart from all the "trappings".
Like Jeanie said, we learn so much from other bloggers but we get to do it on our own terms. I am a social person but I do know there are many who are not, and just can't get comfortable with strangers. I cross paths with so many people who enrich my life. Like you, for instance. :-)
nice. we do cross paths with many and each one is a touch that ripples through us, even those we choose not to touch are a ripple....i think we choose respect, i would beg to differ that we all deserve respect, we may not agree, and we may argue...i think there are those i can offer respect too without buying into their ideas and opinions...
I have come to think that anyone crossing our path is teaching us a lesson. I admit some times I am not very open to be taught that particular lesson. I am still working on being more receptive :-)
I refuse to spend time on people who want to hurt me or take me down. But I do give people the benefit of the doubt.
I'm pretty open and accepting of most until I've been hurt one too many times. And why does this seem to happen so easily among family?
As for those who might appear to lack the drive to be someone, I always assume there is something that is, at least at that moment, preventing them from being where they want to be. I like people, in general.
I think, to a certain extent, we all tend to take the discounting of others path, often for very minute reasons but at times, for very good reasons. However, I will try to assist, be kind, considerate whenever possible even to those who have at times "dissed" me. Just as I would appreciate a second (or more) chance, I like to think others would want/need the same consideration where possible. Right now, my family is going through a whole lot of upheaval due to my ex-son-in-law's methods of operation and his unwillingness to get help for his own problems much less to admit how much they impact on my daughter and their two small children. A huge mess but until he comes to terms with his addictions, nothing will change. Unfortunately. And so, to his way of thinking, we (my daughter, my son and I) are all "dissing" him.
Never can tell who you will meet next..or how they will impact your life. I am a people person..not necessarily a talking one ( I do shut up on in awhile)..but much can be said with a smile:)
You know the saying about walking in my shoes. Well women tend to have many more shoes than men and maybe that has something to do with understanding them. Like it or not we are all influenced by our past and memories. Often it takes a big effort to reach out or accept a person on your path but it is most often worth it.
Good post.
I wrote something recently about this kind of thing and how people sometimes run away instead of meeting up with someone who we feel uncomfortable with.
It seems to be human nature to avoid and make it easier on ourselves but it can cause hurt to the one who gets shunned.
Maggie X
Nuts in May
Personally, I respect most those who don't have a drive for recognition; those who do the right things quietly and humbly because it's just who they are. The drive for recognition can turn pretty ugly when people go to extremes to "be" someone. If it happens, cool, otherwise, it's nice to just be the best you that you can, in the moment, and leave it at that without competing, comparing, or holding it over others. There is much to be learned about oneself in what we don't like in the other. Great post!
Your image could be a fabulous piece of land art.
Your thoughts are spot on in my opinion. That is exactly what we do: dismiss people for quite trivial reasons.
I accept with an open heart, but I won't be screwed over more than once, and I won't allow negative energy around me.
I'm afraid there are a lot of them, but they are missing out on so much.
I'm ashamed to admit in my younger days I was very apt to dismiss or judge others. I think, in my (poor) defence, the arrogance of youth blinded me to seeing the true value of each and every huan being. Of course, later having a vulnerable child with severe learning difficulties, did tend to give me a crash course to open my eyes to the beauty EVERYONE has to offer the world. That said, I do believe we become less shallow with age, and gain the wisdom to be more forgiving of others.
Technobabe, this is a very good post. I've come to understand that everyone has a story. Some are more interesting that others, but all are interesting if you simply listen.
As a writer, my favorite thing to do is to interview older people. I've been blown away by some of the things I've learned.
I'm sure some people live like that but they probably try to keep their distance from me. I don't mind because I doubt that we'd have much in common anyway.
Nice match of words and picture!
Thank you everyone, for the awesome comments. It is interesting to hear the different paths we all take in dealing with other people. When I wrote this post, I was trying to remember as many people I have met in the various states I have lived and different jobs. Some people stood out even as far back as forty years ago. A kindness, an encouragement, a lesson taught, and even some incidents of negativity. I really appreciate your participation in the comments in the blog.
I definitely am capable of getting annoyed with people. But it's not because I think some people are less worthy. It's more a response to their actions. I genuinely believe we are all standing on the same ground and are all valuable.
I don't discount anyone and I certainly do not believe I am worth more than anyone else, but I do believe I am my own protector and as such I will avoid crossing paths with those that I do not feel safe around.
I have always been drawn to those who are as different from myself as possible because I believe we are here to learn from each other. We can't learn much from someone who is just like us, and that is why prejudice has never made sense to me. It is deliberately cutting ourselves off from experiences which would make us grow and become more than we were, which is incredibly stupid. Why waste our precious short time here? That would be like eating only one food every day despite the richness of choice life offers us.
I hear you, Techno. Los Angeles can be a very superficial place to live. I see people looking past and/or right through people everyday. It's sad.
I think that I can learn from each person. I don't have to love everyone but appreciate their humanness and have compassion. I am willing to learn and to listen.
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