Things We Have In Common

Our lifestyle might seem mildly boring to some people. That is absurd to me though, because I feel like my life is interesting and pleasant and calm. Three things I would put at the top of a priority list if I had one.

Hubby and I have many things in common. I had stopped watching any news on television when I met him and he did not watch TV at all. At the time I met him, I had a large plasma TV on my wall and surround sound and all the gadgets. Six months into the relationship when we each moved from our respective homes into a rental house together, it did not take any deciding for me to part with the TV and most of the gadgets. So for four and a half years we have not watched TV, not any TV. It is funny, when the subject is introduced into a conversation upon meeting someone new, and we say we don't watch TV, it just is not heard. ALWAYS, later in the conversation, the new person brings up some show on TV and asks if we watched a particular episode!! Amazing how people cannot or will not listen. I imagine recovering alcoholics get the same treatment. We people in recovery are not the only ones in denial!

The next thing hubby and I have in common is music. I have mentioned in earlier posts how much music has meant to me all through my life. In a different way, but with no less importance, music has been part of hubby's life. When he was young his father bought him an acoustic guitar. From there hubby began playing in a band and singing. So for 33 years hubby moved around in the music world and the drug and alcohol world as well. For a man with bipolar disorder, seeking to disassociate by ingesting chemicals contributed to many manic episodes and other trials in his life. I always mention the fact that he has been clean and sober for nine years whenever I refer to his addictions. Back to the music, an angel must have been sitting on my shoulder when I was getting to know the man who became my hubby. I have music in my life like I always wanted. Live music. He has a keyboard and lots of gadgets and equipment attached to the computer as well as music software. He composes tunes for background to play his guitar. This is so fun for me to be around. I have had the joy of helping hubby compose music, sitting with him in front of a blank music software page on the monitor.

We are each in recovery programs. Hubby and his sponsor meet regularly. I work the twelve steps with a sponsor in a codependents anonymous program. I keep my remarks on our individual recoveries to a minimum; however our individual work is life changing and of upmost importance. It is personal but powerful and we keep it that way as well as honoring others anonymity. I speak openly about my own recovery, I keep my nose out of hubby's recovery.

We each have iMac computers and printers and scanner and all the equipment we need for the things we do. Hubby was blogging before I started blogging and we have different blogs we each follow on our readers;some the same and some different interests in blogs. If I find a great photo I either forward it to him via email or chat and he does the same thing. We have interests in recovery and nutrition and politics and photography and poetry and humor and fiction and art and of course music. So we are constantly sharing things we find.

Hubby has always made our bread, mostly whole wheat. So he makes hamburger buns too. We share an interest in making cookies or candy with honey and carob. Sometimes we are in the kitchen together or just one of us doing our own thing.

Reading is something we have both incorporated into our lives. The first time I was going to meet him in person almost five years ago I told him I would meet him in front of the restaurant and I would bring my book so if his meeting went a little over I was fine because I would have my book. For me that was just normal. No big deal. I have a book with me everywhere I go. He told me later that when I said that, he was a goner. We had been emailing and talking on the phone quite a bit by then but we had not found our shared love of reading yet. We go to the library every week to drop off books and movies and find more. We pore over the stacks of books and I carry a list of my favorite authors and add new ones regularly. All the people working at the library are our buddies.

Life has been tough in many ways for each of us, but we are grateful for the learning experiences and the challenges that have taught us to be strong and true to what we want as individuals. We all bring baggage with us into relationships, the bags just don't have to be full of dirty clothes. It is nice if there are some spices, some memories, some kindness, and some spunkiness.

Answer to Trivia Question in previous post:
What singer was born Anthony Benedetto? Tony Bennett! I can tell this question was not difficult enough!! So many people popped up with the correct answer. I told you that you all are way too smart to be hanging out with me!!

Note: More white stuff keeps coming down from the heavens, sorta like angels sprinkling powdered sugar on top of the mounds of white sugar already here. Gotta love it!