November 04, 2009

Remember Hollywood Squares?

These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

Pretty risque'! Peter Marshall hosted the show 1966 - 1981. Fifteen years on a live game show!


Brian Miller said...

ha. i used to love watching that show...i think it still comes on the gameshow network...or it did when we last had TV.

they dont make good game shows like they used to.

Shadowthorne said...

:) makes me smilehirci

Shadow said...

this is hilarious!!!!!!

Ina in Alaska said...

Thanks for the morning laughs! I do remember that delightful show with those clever and entertaining celebrities!! Paul Lynde was my favorite. xoxo

otin said...

If I am not mistaken, I think that the show has always been scripted, but in the old days they went off script more.

Owen said...

You really know how to make a grown man groan ...

A Free Man said...

I remember that show, a good one!

Shrinky said...

I've never heard of the show, but now I want to see the re-runs!

Bogey said...

Imagine....good clean fun without having to bleep anything out! Oh, but that show was a good one. Thanks for the trip down memory lane.

Ronda Laveen said...

I loved Paul Lynde. His wit was so quick.

I hope you post about your hairdressing/modeling stories. I would love to read them.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Ha! I loved that show but was too young at the time to catch some of the jokes! And who were those "stars" anyway? Did Paul Lynde ever do anything other than Hollywood Squares?

Very fun.

Julie said...

This is hilarious, especially the Paul Lynde comments. I don't remember the show specifically, but now I'm going to go look it up. Why can't television be like this now? Whenever I turn it on, I see crapola and wonder why I turned it on. Thanks for a good laugh!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Pretty funny stuff! These people all had well-honed wits - and no laugh tracks!

Chriss said...

Love the responses.

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