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April 19, 2010

Food For The Soul

We each have our own ideas what feeds our soul. Mine is not religion or love, although I am a spiritual being and I give and receive love freely.

When I was younger and would listen to music and be transported to some place safe and cozy in my innermost being, I didn't have words to describe what happened. I just knew it was clean and shiny and pure. Nothing else in my life was that way so all the more reason this "place" was enticing.

As a baby I was christened in the church and given a Christian name. That name was in honor of the patron saint of music. Ironic that a name that was given to me was associated with music even if I was not actually called that name.

Because of the meager circumstances while I was growing up, a small AM radio was my opportunity to escape my surroundings. It was electric so I listened to the radio every time I was in my room. Which caused a dilemma for me. I loved being outside playing in the dirt, working with the plants and weeding even though I didn't know what I was doing. It seemed to come naturally to me and it was exhilarating to save a plant or flower from extinction.

I was ten years old when I attended a piano concert for the first time. I remember the feelings of elation and ecstasy the moment the first chord was struck. I stared and did not move the entire time. I was so thirsty and could not get enough of the beautiful music. My eyes were bugging out of my head but more than that, my heart was singing and my soul was being fed. I could feel it from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. I was hooked. For life. And I knew it absolutely.

After the encores and the curtain closed, I jumped from my chair and ran out the side door. I had never been there before and I had no idea where I was going, but I was sure in a hurry. I ran and no one stopped me. I found a way to get back stage and I swung open a door to the dressing room of the person who had just left the stage. He was standing in his dressing room trying to light a cigarette and his hand was shaking so much he could not light the cigarette. I ran up to him and held his hand and helped him light his cigarette and I beamed at him. I was not in love with him, but I was in love with his music. And he knew it as he stood looking at my soul. I still have the program from that concert and it still means so much to me. I have been to many many concerts of all types, some at wonderful places like John F. Kennedy Center For Performing Arts in Washington DC and The Opera House in Paris, France. But that concert in an auditorium at a city college in our town was my most precious gift of all time.

63 comments:

Ms. A said...

Music DOES have amazing abilities!

Opaque said...

Music's influence is simply a subliminal feel!

LL Cool Joe said...

Music is the one thing in my life that has kept me alive and sane. Now I'm a dj, and I love nothing more than seeing other people moved by music as much as I am.

Jana said...

It was great to have an insight into your soul as you said…some things move us in a way that cannot be put into words…they can just be felt

Gappy said...

I can so relate to this post. I feel sometimes that there is a sound-track to my entire life in the sense that most of the important events in it that I can remember I associate with music. Sometimes an album, sometimes a particular artist, or sometimes even just one specific song, but always music.

Brian Miller said...

i hear you techno...music has a way of finding the crack in our shell, and ways into our heart like little ese...but i do so love it...

Anne H said...

When you feel it, you know it's yours.
Another lovely post!

Ms Scarlet said...

I love dancing. And therefore music. What interests me is that I'm hopeless at remembering lyrics but find it easy to tune in to the intruments.
Sx

DJan said...

I recently finished reading Oliver Sacks' book "Musicophilia" and it's truly amazing what music really is to us humans. It's a great read. Your post here is a testament to the way music can change a person. Well written and moving, thank you.

Jeanie said...

A beautifully written tribute to one of the true loves of your life.

Rock Chef said...

Music is great isn't it? Very good for the soul.

I also find that love and faith (different to Religion IMO) have a large part to play.

Ina in Alaska said...

A true artist's soul does break thru the talent, I totally agree with you. Much love to you today! xoxo

Enchanted Oak said...

Oh, I feel it with you as you describe the soul-touching sound of music.

ellen abbott said...

For me it's when I get lost in a drawing I'm doing or a model I'm making.

Unknown said...

I love music. Any kind, but I do have my preference in the variety.

Unfortunately I do not have the talent to play ANY musical instrument. I cannot even remember musical notes. Which made my music teachers perplexed because I was a bright student in everything else. :P

Syd said...

That is great. I wonder if he knows today what an impression he made on your life.

Land of shimp said...

Oh my goodness, things do tend to develop patterns in unexpected ways, don't they? This is the third music post I've read this morning.

I wonder if Spring has put so many in mind of music? It would make sense, wouldn't it? The world waking up, bursting forth with color and growth. That is a bit like music, isn't? It seems an alive, evolving, growing thing.

I don't have the same relationship to music, it is art that caught me. I hope everyone has something like that, though. Nature, music, art, sculpture ...whatever it may be, something that makes them feel an affinity and rightness with the world around them.

Bill Lisleman said...

good story thanks for sharing -
In addition to the great soul moving power music has for one person, it also has a very universal quality that doesn't stop at language boundaries.

Sassy Pants Freckle Face said...

I adore you, a something special is on it's way to you <3
Cheers to a wonderful week!

Kate said...

First off, beautiful picture. An I agree. Music goes through you and grabs you and and doesn't let go. I still remember being three years old and singing into my dad's microphone stand (yes, stand.) Few memories can compete.

Claudya Martinez said...

I love the image of you running back stage.

Anonymous said...

Music can touch our souls in such a way that not many other things can. Very beautiful TechnoBabe

Robert the Skeptic said...

Music can leave impressions on us more deeply than any other art form, probably because our mind has such a capacity to recall both the melodies and the feelings they elicit within us.

I can still vividly recall very poignant and meaningful moments in my life which are tied to specific pieces of music. When these, the feelings they pull from my memories makes me relive those moments - I can recall the most vivid details.

I still cannot get all the way through a Harry Chapin album without having to stop and "feel" the stories he weaves.

Kathy M. said...

I love this post. I can so see the small you running backstage. I love music, too. More than anything else, it goes directly to my heart. Thanks for sharing.

Casey Freeland said...

So you helped a guy get his nicotine fix. Way to go!

Kidding, of course. I love this post. I love that you were so transfixed that you just ran, just had to see the performer. Beautiful.

Cheers,

SLC

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

Music has pulled me through many rough times, and let me ride the good times just a little longer.

I'm dying to know, though: Who was that pianist you met that night?

Kazzy said...

Music is salve for the soul. No doubt about that in the least bit.

Green-Eyed Momster said...

I love music. I loved hearing our daughter practice her piano lessons. Her recitals always brought tears to my eyes. She's so talented.

I'm sad that she doesn't want lessons anymore. I miss hearing her play.

Hugs!!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Such a beautiful post and a wonderful experience! Music speaks to my soul, too. I have no doubt that the pianist felt a transmission from your soul as you touched his hand, and that your gift to him was perfectly equal to the gift of music which he gave to you. Thank you for sharing this.

Ronda Laveen said...

And so you marry a music man. Someone to feed your soul. I love it!

Gary's third pottery blog said...

thanks for the visit to my blob :) lemme look around yours!

Gary's third pottery blog said...

OH btw, I am a baby Cornhusker myself, although living in New York now :)

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Wow...is it kismet that you come back to find my blog and I visit yours and this post is here?

Music is such a huge part of who I am in my life. the constant soundtrack that is playing in my head...

The writing about musicians and reviewing their work...

The renewal of a radio show from years past to now spend time talking with up and comers and those who have been working their way in the music industry for years...

I will listen to your husband's music and let you know what I think...

Thanks for visiting THE COUCH hope you make it a regular visit and you check out MUSIC ON THE COUCH

Maude Lynn said...

"Clean and shiny and pure." That's exactly how I felt about music (and how music made me feel) when I was a child.

Unknown said...

You found a way to say what I can't . About music.
About these things that feed our soul.

I'm picturing this little you, finding your heart , and that is such a gift.

secret agent woman said...

I can see why that memory would stick with you. There is something especially magical about live music.

CiCi said...

Ms Anthropy, I am glad you agree.

Brosreview, yes indeed, my friend.

LL Cool Joe, You have a great job.

Jana, Exactly! Felt and no words can describe it.

Gappy, associating particular music to a memory or event is wonderful.

Brian, great way to explain it. Thanks.

Anne, thank you so much.

Scarlet Blue, the music itself is what gets me too.

DJan, thanks for the book recommendation. I will check it out.

Jeanie, you always get it.

Rock Chef, good insight as well.

Ina, yes it does. Thanks.

Enchanted Oak, I am glad you feel it too.

ellen, you know the feeling and you get it through other means too.

Shadowthorne, we don't all have talent to play music, but thank goodness we can hear and feel it.

Syd, I will have to find out if he is still alive. I don't think so.

CiCi said...

Land Of Shimp, For me, music is a topic on my blog very often because it is such a major part of my life.

lisleman, good point, no language barriers, thanks.

Sassy, you are so sweet. I have something to look forward to from you.

Kate, I am so glad you have the memory of when you were 3 years old.
That is special. Write a post about it.

Unknown Mami, I literally tore down the aisle as soon and he left the stage the last time.

Maggie, you understand music, thanks.

Robert, you know how it feels to relate to music. Thanks for the nice comment.

Kathy, YOU do know me and I like it that you can picture the small me running back stage.

Spencer, I don't think I had even touched a cigarette prior to this even though my father smoked. Yes, there was no stopping me. I was on automatic.

CiCi said...

MikeWJ, the name of the pianist was Soulima Stravinsky, the son of Igor Stravinsky. I can still picture his stature and his eyes. The second concert was to see Theodore Lettvin.

Kazzy, I am so glad to hear so many others feel the same way about music and the benefits we receive.

GEM, how it must have moved you to listen to your daughter practice and to be present at her recitals.

heartsinsanfrancisco, I found the program in my oldest scrap book. He died in 1994 but his music started something in me so he is really still very much alive.

Ronda, now you understand why being with a musician hubby is so important to me.

Gary, we've only been in NE two years but we love it here.

Bond, I have always loved your little boy pic. Your love of music shows in your blog.

Mama Zen, wow, you made me realize something important about why music was my saving grace when I was a kid.

deb, I'm glad the way I say things reaches your spirit like this.

secret agent woman, especially being from the wrong side of the tracks so to speak. This was like a way to show me to breathe and get so much air I never felt before.

Cheryl said...

What a lovely post! I so enjoyed learning of how your love of music was sparked by the recital. A simple recital with a huge gift for you.

Stacy Uncorked said...

I used to sneak an am radio under my pillow at night and listen with an ear bud. My sister (who had the top bunk in our shared room) always wondered what the strange noise was at night. :)

LOVE the piano concert memory - I would have been lost in the music, too. :)

Liz Mays said...

You are filled with the most amazing memories and the way you tell them is incredible. I love your posts!

Lola Sharp said...

I love this post.

Music is powerful.

Love.
Lola

terri said...

Nothing ever spoke to my heart the way you just described. Or maybe I've just forgotten because I was told it was a silly, childish dream... maybe I need to remember the things that made me feel that way!

jozien said...

Yes! In Holland i went to the Jerusalem Passion, in Rotterdam's grandest concert hall. My sister participated. What a thrill!
So many passions, mine definitly also the outdoors. You reminded me of something i haven't done for a long time, to take my wooden flute (recorder:) up the mountain next time. Now that is bliss.

LadyFi said...

Music is a joy for the soul! Love your description of when you discovered its power.

järnebrand said...

"And he knew it as he stood looking at my soul."
I agree, music has a way to allow souls to communicate. Wonderful post. Thank you for sharing.
Congrats on the POTW from Hilary!
Love/ Jo.

Sueann said...

Loved your musical memory! Beautiful and so sweet.
Congrats on your POTW
Hugs
SueAnn

Land of shimp said...

Stopping back by to say a hearty congratulations on the post of the week mention!

I was particularly delighted because with that rather resonating note of several posts about music, it felt like there was an underpinning of oneness, connection across the miles, on the internet.

I am absolutely in love with the idea that we are all connected in ways we never quite get to glimpse, closer than we can imagine...and Hilary mentioning your post felt absolutely right, and proper...connections, food for the soul, your long love of music...

I think some people go to church to feel a spiritual sort of connection. I look to the stories people tell.

Daryl said...

Congrats on the POTW mention from Hilary

Anonymous said...

I too was named after the patron saint of music ;-) I wish I had musical talent although I certainly appreciate and love music. I find that the older I get, the more I crave creative food for my soul. Thank you for this nicely written post.

Suldog said...

I do know the feeling.

Congratulations on your POTW mention at Hilary's place. You deserve it, of course.

Shrinky said...

Ah yes, we all need music - it's a balm for the soul! What a sweet recollection, it obviously left a huge, positive impact on you. It's a lovely post (smile)..

Anonymous said...

I am with you there...music, all kinds from Swing through Jazz to Classical...certainly can soothe the savage breast/beast.

Many congratulation on a mention for Hilary's POTW

Julie said...

It is so fitting that you married a musician. An awesome musician, I might add:)

I love the story of how you ran backstage after your first concert. The description is beautifully written, and as always, your words touch my soul.

Frank Baron said...

Lovely homage. :)

Music of all sorts captivates me too, but my favourite type doesn't stem from human participation. I love to listen to the chattering of a stream, accompanied by the whisper of breeze-tossed leaves and punctuated by the varied calls of birds -- Nature's concerts.

Unknown said...

Wow. What an amazing experience. Profound.

savannah said...

a delightful introduction to you, sugar! thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment! xoxoxo

CiCi said...

Cheryl, a blessing that helped me survive a sad young life actually.

Stacy, I know you share the daily music as I do, we are fortunate.

Blueviolet, yes I am like a cat with nine lives and lots of memories.

Lola, in my case the power of the love of music was a life saver.

Terri, music is the only thing that has reached me like this.

Jozien, yes, the way you feel about the outdoors is the way I feel about music.

LadyFi, the joy is beyond description really.

jarnebrand, Yes, music is a way to communicate.

slommler, thank you very much.

Land of shimp, like you I really listen when I read what people write in their blogs.

Daryl, thank you kindly.

onlyoublog, I saw your blog and I know we share the name. Hugs.

Suldog, I accept your compliment and I know you know the power of music.

Shrinky, see, there have been good childhood memories too.

Moannie, I am glad you are in the music appreciation club.

Julie, I am so glad you like my hubby's music. I think his music is top notch.

Frank, what a lovely way to say it: nature's concert.

Life with Kaishon, yes a life changing experience for sure.

savannah, nice meeting you too.

Far Side of Fifty said...

It is great that you discovered your passion for life so young..some people never find theirs. Mine of course is Nature..trees and flowers..whatever makes your soul sing! :)

Mrs4444 said...

"...my heart was singing and my soul was being fed..." Loved this; it's a wonderful post. I, too, feel very much touched by music. I often have to wipe away tears just hearing children at school singing, even when I don't know any of them. Such a gift.

A Free Man said...

My older boy wants a radio for his birthday. I still remember my first radio, an old clock radio with a tinny little speaker, but that's where my love of music began.

Cheryl Kohan said...

I really enjoyed this post but I am blown away by the photograph! That's just so cool. It speaks volumes.