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September 27, 2010

First Grade Memories

When my youngest child started first grade, she chose to walk to school with the group of kids in our area. It was only two blocks to school. None of the other parents were walking with their children, so after the first couple days I acquiesced and stopped walking with her.

After a couple weeks of this arrangement, I noticed bruises on my daughter's back and butt when I would check on her getting in and out of her nightly bath. The bruising was so horrendous and I would ask how she was getting bruised. It was odd that the bruises were on her backside and not on arms or legs like she would get if she was being too daring on the monkey bars which was her favorite activity. She was always a climber. She was small for her age and she would climb trees and other adults would get so nervous and ask her to come down. She was competitive and would do tricks on the monkey bars and encourage other kids to do them too.

My daughter was the smallest child walking in the group to and from school. Apparently, boys in the fifth and sixth grades would try to intimidate the younger children. And because they were not able to instill fear in my daughter, they would kick her on her back and butt. Thus,the bruises.

The hours I worked at the time were 11 PM to 7 AM. So when I left work I would go home and get my daughter ready and walk her to school. I did speak to the principal about the boys hurting her but I didn't hear anything about a follow up or any action. I would help in the cafeteria occasionally and continued walking her to school the rest of the school year. This kind of negative response would follow her throughout her school years. It was as if she had "kick me hormones" that drew bullies to her.

I have more posts to come about my daughter and her troubles in school.

41 comments:

anne h said...

Ouch!
Inexcusable these days.
Zero tolerance and all.
Bless her little first-grade heart.
And yours!

Berni said...

That is terrible. It used to be that boys were taught to protect girls.

Brian Miller said...

bullying is wrong. hopefully these days they would take it more serious. no one should have to go through that. they make the students at our boys school sign an anti bullying pledge...

TechnoBabe said...

anne, thanks. She turned out okay but she went through more for the rest of her school years. More posts to come.

Berni, I know, boys were taught to care for girls.

Brian, I truly like the anti bullying pledge idea.

Jerry said...

It makes me want to follow her to school with a video camera and catch the bullies trying to intimidate -- and throw that in front of the school administration. It seems like your daughter is much like you -- fearless.

Best of luck. It is so hard raising kids these days.

Opaque said...

That is inexcusable. I mean, yes I get the fact the ones bullying are kids themselves. But, there should be some discipline taught and a school should try to become a more controlled environment.

LL Cool Joe said...

That makes me feel sick. I can't stand the thought of any child being bullied. They say times have changed but quite honestly I believe it still goes on. My younger daughter kept being hit in the face with a lacrosse stick by another girl. I won't tell you what I suggested because it's not at all pc.

Whatever, the bully never hit my daughter again.

deb said...

we have zero tolerance for bullying in our school district,
but not many years ago this stuff was just part of life or something, terrible.
I do wonder why some people "attract" bullies. I think the bully must sense who among the crowd best displays what they are most afraid of . Their basic sense of being nice. Because the bully is usually acting out , most often undergoing some issues of being tormented him or herself right ? It doesn't make it any less inexcusable, I'm just thinking out loud.

Jeanie said...

I'm glad to hear she came through okay and I'm looking forward to more stories. I wonder what became of those boys who got away with bullying a little girl.

DJan said...

It was a long time ago that I went to school, but I don't remember any bullying. This is recent, and whatever is the cause of it mystifies me. I feel bad for your daughter, and what she went through as a child. I agree with Jerry: she must be like you, fearless. I hope it made her stronger.

Lori said...

This is inexcusable! I can not stand bullying of any kind. I am so sorry that your daughter had to endure this treatment.

Many schools have these anti bullying pledges that all the kids and their parents are required to sign and they even post signs in the schools saying, "We don't tolerate bullying".

All of this sounds fine and dandy but from what I am hearing, it really is doing no good in many of the schools because bullies are still getting away with it.

About 6 years ago my daughter did this anti bullying campaigne during her senior year of high school. It blew me away to hear the statistics of how many young people committ suicide from being bullied or quit school because they couldn't handle it. Very sad.

Where are the parents of these bullies? This whole topic makes my blood boil!!!

Anyways...hope you have a marvelous Monday. XX

secret agent woman said...

Bullying just makes me crazy. Did you ever talk to the parents of the bullies?

Maggie May said...

It was very sad that no one intervened and I was pleased that you did take her to school and back, seeing as the school didn't take it seriously.
I found it quite shocking.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

TALON said...

How horrific! It's just wrong - plain and simple.

Gary's third pottery blog said...

Good God, what a f##king world...sorry for your kid, geez.

Kristina P. said...

I had something similar happen in the 5th and 6th grade, by a boy who supposedly liked me.

How horrible.

Jillsy said...

it's awful how some children can behave!

Shrinky said...

Nothing tears the flesh from the bone more than seeing your child suffer at the hands of others. Thank goodness you were attuned enough to pick up on it, and assertive enough to intervene. Shame on the system that refused to lift a finger to address what was happening.

My sweet Sam was hurt today, not by a child, but by a teacher, it was emotional rather than physical, and he was a complete wreck, crying and wrapped in a fetal position, in full view of everyone, as I came to collect him. I am bleeding from every pore as I write this, and need to calm down before tomorrow, when I will visit this "teacher". It is not only children who pick on the vulnerable.

lisleman said...

first grade - There would be a good chance to correct some of this behavior if the bully's parents would act. We all need the right direction when we are little. It's terrible than some parents don't or don't want to get it. Schools and teachers can help but the parents are the best correcting force if they get it.

Betty said...

I´m glad you made the time to be there for her. That can be so scaring for your whole life to start school like that!

Mama Zen said...

Techno, this scares me to death.

Eddie Bluelights said...

Bullying is inexcusable. I had my fair share at boarding school. A large boy held me under the water in the swimming pool for over a minute, let me up and did it again for another minute. I was only 11. Not sure what I would do if I met him now!

I'll return later to read this again.

I have a little something for you at my place ~ Eddie

Regards to you and hubby

Fancy said...

How awful! Bullying is manisfestly wrong; it has no place in a civilized society and should not be tolerated in any shape or form.

Unknown Mami said...

This just infuriates me!

How do I thank you for the kindness you have shown? Please know that your support and presence have really helped these last two weeks. I am truly grateful.

Also, the blog is looking very nice.

Cinner said...

That is horrible, so sad. you were a good mom to walk her, the no follow up would have frustrated me....hugs to you... I support no bullying.

Robert the Skeptic said...

I would file a police report that your daughter is being physically assaulted. In our state, the BAR association can put one in contact with an attorney for a $35 consultation. If you can do that, I would see about notifying the school/city that you expect your daughter to be safe to/from/at school in no uncertain terms.

What bullies respect most of all are BIGGER BULLIES... but do it legally.

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Bullies...always been there - always will and the only way to combat them is to teach them a lesson

otin said...

That sucks. I was always kind of a loner but was never bullied. I was bigger than most kids! :)

Jeni said...

I can think of one boy in particular who was in my class from 7th grade thru the early part of our senior year who was a terrible bully to a girl in our class. She had been in the same room with him virtually all her school years and he picked on her unmercifully. One day, early in our senior year, my next-door neighbor and good friend, came upon him picking on this other girl and she stepped up to the plate and confronted him. It was a big shock to him as well as to the victim because this girl was captain of the cheerleaders, very smart, very popular and when she stood up to him in defense of the other girl, for the first time in 12 years, he backed down. Amazing what a little bit of well-placed peer pressure can do at times, isn't it?
Thanks for your much appreciated well-wishes and prayers too my friend. I have been very fortunate thus far tonight -no "aftershocks" from the chemo as yet, any way. Getting a bit sleepy a lot earlier than my norm but that's okay.

jozien said...

Hi Technobabe! i was wondering were you actually live, because i am heading South.

This is quite a disturbing story, My heart goes out to her and you. Wonderful that you noticed, that you did walk her to school after that!

Big Dave T said...

You wonder if the schools would react any differently in this day and age where so much effort is placed on children's self esteem. I'll bet it still depends on the quality of the school system.

Shadow said...

bullies are the worst kind! behaviour i just cannot tolerate...

blueviolet said...

That hurts my heart SO much!!!!

Everyday Goddess said...

That is so terrible. I'm glad she turned out okay!

Wandering Coyote said...

I was bullied all through elementary school and into high school. Back then, though, there just wasn't enough importance given to the issue and it seemed to me at the time that school staff didn't give a crap. Things have changed here, now. There is much more awareness and much more support, though with technology there are also more insidious ways of bullying that are just as terrible as physical stuff...

Kazzy said...

As a public school employee, I am disgusted and sorry for your daughter.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

Both my daughters had their pants removed on the school playground by groups of boys. The principal's response: Nada. Nobody cared. We probably should have sued them.

Syd said...

I am sorry that she had to endure such treatment. I am glad that you were there to keep the bullies away.

Joanna Jenkins said...

This is the second post I've read today about bullies-- and it makes me crazy! I hate hearing that the school did nothing and that the abuse continued. Shame on the school administrators and the parents of the bullies. I hope today the bullies great us to somehow find their way to be decent men but it's hard to imagine that happening.

I am so sorry your daughter had to endure this.

Sending big hugs. jj

Mrs4444 said...

This makes me mad. Poor kid :(

Marla said...

My very first day of school, a group of boys were chasing a crying little girl. As she ran by me, I grabbed her, pushed her behind me and dared the boys to touch her. They turned and walked off. That was 45 years ago and she and I are still friends today.

Kids can be very cruel.