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February 02, 2011

Groundhog Day 2011

Photo courtesy of National Geographic.

The oldest brother married a girl born on Feb 1. Then the second son married a girl born on Feb 3. Then I came along and married the third son. My birthday is Feb 2. You would think this was magical and meant to be. I thought so. Thirteen years and three children later we divorced. Thus began the search for answers. What did I do wrong? Why wasn't I enough? Why wasn't I good enough?

Years later and with the help of a wonderful therapist and a loving husband in my life now, I understand I was asking lame questions. Instead of constantly trying to make myself into someone other people would approve of, I have learned to get to know me. When I began therapy I had not ever looked at myself fully in a mirror. Just enough to put on eyebrows and comb my hair but not really see me.

Today I am happy to say it is my birthday. I like the woman I see in the mirror. The whole package. I do not strive to be someone to please anyone else. I have been learning how to be myself and fit into relationships with truth and dignity.

So hello, little groundhog, you and I have been buddies all these years. Whether you run from your shadow or not, I want to thank you for the additional enjoyment you have provided. Party down, little groundhog. In my own way I will too. Unlike you, there is no more running away for me. No longer am I afraid of my shadow.

55 comments:

Sex, Drugs and Bacon Sandwiches said...

Happy birthday Techno - I hope it's a fabulous one for you... We all need to take the time to really look, you are so right.

LL Cool Joe said...

Hey, Happy birthday!! Mine's tomorrow, the 3rd.

I'm glad you like what you see in the mirror. :)

Shadow said...

happy birthday, you have to be a great person, aquarius are. 'twas my son's b-day yesterday...

and then reading on, i got tears in my eyes. of happiness for you. in the way your life has changed and how you've grown. now i have a teeny tiny little wish, to get to where you are. one day...

lots of love!

TechnoBabe said...

S,D,BS: Thanks for your birthday wishes.

LL Cool Joe, the best of birthday wishes to you tomorrow.

Shadow, never would I have been able to foresee my life as it is now. I am thankful every day, every hour. I too hope you find great happiness.

deb colarossi said...

Happy Birthday.

Mrs4444 said...

I don't know how long It''s been since I stopped by , but it's been too long! It's gorgeous in here, and I'm not just talking about this post :). I love your voice in this piece. I'm happy for you.

Good luck to your little groundhog friend today! I've heard he might not even find his way out of his den, what with this weather!

Have a beautiful day!

Eileen said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
'So good to hear the peace, and comfort, and contentment in your words.
And if you could see what we see in you, you would be ecstatic with yourself!
It's always so wonderful to read your insightful blog.

Enjoy your special day!

All best wishes to you!, Eileen

Big Dave T said...

Your journey almost sounds like Bill Murray's in Groundhog Day. His ended happily too. Hope you have a great birthday.

I think groundhogs in this area would have a hard time seeing their shadow with all the snow. But I'm sure they will. They always do.

Lori said...

Happy Birthday dear friend! Here's to liking the woman in the mirror and not striving to be anyone but yourself! That is my goal for this year!!! So proud of you..today I celebrate you! Cheers!

Fireblossom said...

My oldest brother married a girl named Jan and my middle brother, whose name is Dick, married a girl named Jane, and of course, they got a dog and named him Spot. I broke the chain by not marrying anyone with a "J" name.

Happy Groundhog Day!

Jeanie said...

Many, many good wishes to you as you continue your journey.
Happy birthday!

Brian Miller said...

happy happy birthday
2 u 2 u 2 u

hope you have an incredible day techno!

Andrew said...

Happy Birthday (Technobabe) And thank you for your support.

DJan said...

Happy birthday, beautiful and happy friend of mine! How much richer and full my life is because of your blog, because of your comments, because... well, because of YOU! Happy Birthday!!

Jillsy Girl said...

Happy, Happy Birthday TB!

Kathy M. said...

I love this post. So much packed into so few words.

I like the person you see in the mirror, too. Very much.

Happy birthday, my dear friend. Glad you don't have to run from your shadow anymore.

Big, warm hugs.

TALON said...

Wishing you a fabulous birthday, TechnoBabe! So much life wisdom and honesty in your words. I'm glad you now look in the mirror and see yourself for the amazing woman you are.

Rock Chef said...

Be yourself - people will love you for who you are. If they don't they can take a hike!

Rock Chef said...

And Happy Birthday!

blueviolet said...

Happy Birthday! I'm so glad you're in a happy, happy place in your life!

Stickup Artist said...

Happy Birthday TechnoBabe! Sometimes I think that life is simply a long journey back to oneself. Have a wonderful day!

Kristina P. said...

Happy birthday, my friend! I love coming here because you always have such wise words.

Jeni said...

I stumbled through the bulk of my life always looking in the mirror and disliking -sometimes immensely -the image looking back at me. I wasn't looking for perfection cause I knew I was far from that ideal -very, very far, indeed. I questioned myself constantly as to why I had this feature, why no one ever wanted to "date" me, had horrendously wrong relationships when I did have one and well, the list of things I did or didn't do was very long. I had tried the self-talk stuff telling me that I was really a good person inside and that was all that counted and it would lift my spirits occasionally -for a little while -but still nothing was forthcoming that provided earth-shattering changes in my life. Finally, after the last relationship ended in 1998 -after roughly 9 months of bliss -I decided no more of even thinking about finding a "soul mate" or anything even remotely close to that. The employment scene was equally as bad by then as was my personal life with each new job not bringing me any satisfaction and each ending in a not very good way too. In the midst of a really bad bout of depression, I was diagnosed with cancer and believe it or not, that along with the news that I was going to be a grandmother again began to lift me up, out and away. Not permanently out of those doldrums right then, but eventually I came to see them as the catalysts for a change in my life and attitude. I'm still not ecstatic when I look in the mirror at the image there -not much can be done to change that but today I am basically content to hole up in my living room, in my recliner, watching tv (or listenting maybe?) while working on one embroidery project after another. I've finally found things that make me happy -stitching, slowly watching something come together under my fingers -and having my two younger grandchildren around me for a big mix of frustration with them at times but mostly enjoyment, pure and simple, at watching them grow and learn. There are still things "wrong" with me, sure but I just don't dwell on them ALL the time these days.

Lynn said...

Happy birthday! My birthday is Friday, the 4th - a fellow Aquarian.

Syd said...

Beautifully written. Happy birthday to you. You are indeed very special.

Life with Kaishon said...

You are a beautiful person : ) Happy Birthday!

Cinner said...

Happy Birthday, I hope you have an awesome day. It made me tear up thinking about you. so glad you are whom you are today. it is a gift you share with us. hugs.

Penelope said...

I can't take the winter anymore…and happy bday!

Cricket said...

Well, well. Happy Birthday and many more. Glad I made it back to blogville somewhat in time.

And Groundhog Day is one of my favorite films as well. Silly, but good, I think.

Nezzy said...

A very happy birthday to you beautiful gal!!! It's good when you come into yourself and see the beauty before you.

God bless and have a grand day of celebration filled with love, laughter and cake...heaps of cake piled high with reach creamy icin'!!!

(Sorry, I get carried away easily!)

Far Side of Fifty said...

Happy Birthday! You have come into your own..and that is a good happy place to be:)

Maggie said...

Happy Birthday!! I hope you have a wonderful day!! You're a great person and deserve the best!! *HUGS*

Bth said...

Thank you so much for your comment on my blog- you really got it- and that meant a lot. Happy birthday to you! This post is so very true- how often I look in the mirror and see the bits I don't like, or the bits that went wrong, rather than the real true me. So important isn't it, to learn to love ourselves? Really enjoyed this post- your reflections and realisations. I'll be following!

Gary's third pottery blog said...

YOUR BIRTHDAY???? Oh YAY CICI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hogs and kisses, gr

Bernie said...

Happy Birthday sweet lady and may you have many more with your wonderful husband. Hope your day has been a great one....:-)Hugs

terri said...

Happy Birthday! It's so wonderful to hear that you've learned how to be happy after years of struggling. You are inspiring!

lisleman said...

Happy Birthday - February Birthdays are the BEST - I know.

Your blog's candles look brighter today.

Hilary said...

Oh I'm late to the party but want to wish you the happiest of birthdays. I'm so glad you've fit into yourself.

Fancy said...

Well said, Technobabe!

Happy Birthday and best of luck!!

ladyfi said...

Hurray for the woman looking at herself in the mirror!

Maggie May said...

Lovely post and I hope that your Birthday was good and I'm so pleased that you like the person you see in the mirror.
Everyone is on about these little ground hog creatures which we don't get in UK... only hedgehogs that are a bit different.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Julie said...

Awesome post, Technobabe. I hope you had a wonderful birthday. Yes, you are definitely worth it. I can't even begin to tell you how much you have touched my life. Your mirror is beautiful! Celebrate that beauty every day:)

karen said...

I'm a day late, but happy birthday!

Mama Zen said...

Happy Birthday, Techno!

Kazzy said...

I don't have to stand and look at you face to face to realize how much I like you.

Happy birthday!

Anne H said...

Happy happy happiest of birthdays to you, TechnoBabe!
You are one smart and wise hippie- cookie!

Life 101 said...

Very good post! There are so many people that go through difficult times, and their lives seem to spiral downward. But it sounds like you not only navigated those rough waters, but emerged on the other side stronger and better.
Happy belated birthday.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Oh Techno, So sorry I'm late to the party but I'm sending you happy and wonderful belated birthday wishes. I hope it was fantastic.

xo jj

Deidra said...

Happy Birthday!!!!

Marla said...

Happy Birthday Dear Techno!!!

Send me your address, please. I have a little birthday treat for you my friend.

marlaahansen@yahoo.com

Stinkypaw said...

Sorry to be late, but I sure hope you had a great day! Hope it was everything you'd hoped and then some. All the best to you my dear and cheers to many more to come! xox

secret agent woman said...

I think he "what did I do wrong" question is a common one after a divorce. But when people used to ask me if I felt lie a failure I could honestly say no - life just happens that way.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

A wonderful, wise post! Happy belated birthday, Babe! My son's birthday is February 1st - he was born minutes before Ground Hog Day.

Casey Freeland said...

Oh, damn, I missed your birthday. I'm sorry. Hard week and I haven't read any posts until today. I hope it was a terrific day with your man.

Cheers,

Casey

Casey Freeland said...

Oh, damn, I missed your birthday. I'm sorry. Hard week and I haven't read any posts until today. I hope it was a terrific day with your man.

Cheers,

Casey