January 06, 2010
I am learning the importance of keeping things in perspective. When I hear something, I take time to think about it before I make a decision on how I feel about it. I don't jump to conclusions. One of the most interesting eye openers for me during my therapy was that I didn't always see things correctly or understand something as it really was. Part of that was due to the fact that all my life I was disassociated. I would get a glimpse of something that I couldn't understand and I would get a hint of a feeling but I wouldn't understand that either, but for a brief moment every once in awhile things would feel in sync, feel right, feel okay. But it didn't last and I was unable to hold on to it. Whatever IT was. And the funny thing is that I always thought that good sync thing was due to circumstances outside of me. I did not realize at all that it was within my power to be in that good place when I choose as often as I choose for as long as I choose.
Learning to hear things and see things with clarity was a challenge at first. With tools and coaching I have found a way to be in acceptance and harmony that is not only healthy for me mentally but physically too. The frustration level is practically nonexistent now.
The reason I share things like this is another gauge of my new trust in others. Learning to keep things in perspective is a giant step for me in my recovery, and the old me would not have even talked to anyone about it. But I am comfortable speaking openly about some of my self discoveries and new found joy in life, and that's a very good thing.
Posted by CiCi