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July 09, 2011

Ninety Years On This Earth

Glitter Graphics | http://www.graphicsgrotto.com/


July 10th is my mother's 90th birthday. This is the girl who was ill with childhood diabetes but in a family of eleven children in the midwest, doctor visits were non-existent.

My brother and I were farmed out to families many times while our mother underwent surgeries for various problems. Back then children were not told facts so I only remember being an intruder with older couples with no children who insisted I sit still and eat whatever horrible thing was in front of me, or getting lost among the many children in a household and expected to be another hand with the early morning chores.

After the age of twelve I didn't live with my mother any longer but we were occasionally in touch by phone. She let me know when she was in the hospital with the first mastectomy and seven years later the other mastectomy. Then surgery for ovarian cancer. Then gall bladder surgery. The cataract surgeries were a couple years ago. She had a fairly major stroke about twenty years ago and mini strokes since then. And all the while she is an insulin dependent diabetic.

She started telling me when she was in her sixties that she would not live a long life. She was just too ill. In my mind ninety is a lot of years. So she has lived a long life, contrary to her predictions.

Hubby and I made a CD for her with us singing some songs she likes, and hubby playing guitar. She will get a kick out of it. One song will make her cry: You'll Never Walk Alone. It was the song I sang when I auditioned for the San Francisco Light Opera. That was during the three months I lived with her after living in foster homes several years. She has mentioned that song to me many times and told me how much it meant to her to go with me to that audition.

Of course the CD we made is just for fun. Just to make her happy. Other than hubby's singing and guitar playing there is nothing professional about it. But we had so much fun working on it together. Within an hour of finishing the CD we watched an episode of Frost on Netflix with a band and male singer doing a fun rendition of You'll Never Walk Alone. In all the years of watching shows I have never seen that song being performed. Twilight Zone moment.

My mother and I have gone through stages of getting to know each other over the sixty five years I have been here, to come to a place of contentment and acceptance. Ninety is a big number. Big enough to hold up the weight of mistakes and regrets.

Happy ninetieth birthday to my mother. From my heart. We may be making a 100th birthday CD in ten years.

34 comments:

Ms. A said...

Happy Birthday to your mother!

Dave King said...

Fantastic. All Best Wishes to ther for a great day.

James said...

When I met TechnoBabe, neither one of us had any idea that she would develop such a warm heart for her mother, given her childhood. By creating Forgiveness and strong boundaries, along with her Stepwork, she has let go of a ton of resentment and restored a new relationship with her mom.

Another miracle for sure. I am humbly awed.

Brian Miller said...

smiles. happy birthday to your mom...so why dont you share with us some of that music...wink....hope she does get her 100th bday CD

Jillsy Girl said...

how wonderful is that! she's lived against all odds. there's something totally profound in that. happy birthday to her!

R. J. said...

What a great graphic design! Thanks for the introduction to Graphics Grotto. It is amazing that medical science can keep us alive through so many illnesses. Happy Birthday to your Mom.

DJan said...

What an inspiring story of healing and forgiveness. Not to mention having a great guy like James in your life, TB! And happy birthday to your mom, because yes NINETY years is a good long life! Twenty years longer than the threescore and ten I figure we mostly get...

Fragrant Liar said...

Happy birthday to your Mom. She bucked all the odds by making it to 90 with all her health problems. Modern medicine is often miracle working. You are a lucky woman just to still have your mama, and I'm glad you're able to make her happy with a song. Pretty cool.

Jeanie said...

What a victory for you to be able to celebrate this birthday with your mom. Best wishes to both of you.

Bernie said...

Happy Birthday to your mother. I love that you have found peace and contentment together and I think it is lovely that you and hubby sent her the CD. (Love your hubby's music) If my son were alive he would be 42 tomorrow, only God knows why some are taken so young, I miss him. Have a wonderful weekend.....:-)Hugs

Ocean Girl said...

Oh what a blessing. Happy birthday to your Mom and twilight zone moment indeed.

Kristina P. said...

Happy birthday to your mom! It's amazing when anyone lives to be 90!

secret agent woman said...

Aw - a very happy 90th to your Mom.

Hilary said...

That's a lovely birthday tribute to your Mother and a very touching gift of the heart from both of you. You two are truly inspiring. Happy 90th to your Mother.

Mama Zen said...

That sounds like a lovely gift. Happy Birthday to your Mom!

Life 101 said...

Technobabe, it sounds like you've played the cards
that were dealt to you.
I think it was wise finding peace with you mom.

You'd left a comment on my blog about where you could hear something by Jilda and me. My friend Dale recorded a song we did yesterday off the radio. It's a live, unspruced up version.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcByKZqamoQ

I'd also like to hear more of you and your hubby.

terri said...

Happy Birthday to your mom!

I can't imagine growing up being passed from one relative to another. I didn't have a fairy tale relationship with my own mom, but I know that I always wanted her there.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Yes, 90 is a good age. I'm so glad she has lived long enough for you both to come to a place of acceptance and affection and caring, and I'm sure the CD you and James made is totally kickass.

Amie Kaufman said...

Goodness, ninety is a lot of years indeed. It sounds like it's been a journey for both of you. Your gift sounds absolutely lovely--the effort and the choice of songs, as well as the CD itself!

Betty said...

Happy Birthday to your mom! That surely is a BIG number and she cannot say she hasn´t had a long life anymore.
I´m so glad you are able to look beyond your hard past and see the person who gave birth to you. I¨m sure she will love the CD you made!

Maggie May said...

That is a truly amazing account of just how you can overcome the most difficult things.
Happy Birthday to your mother.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

janeywan said...

That is quite a milestone, to make it to ninety. Hope she has a wonderful celebration!

Brian Miller said...

happy sunday techno...saw the post earlier but it was gone again before i got here...will keep checking back as it wont show up in reader again...

have a wonderful day!

Jayne said...

"Big enough to hold up the weight of mistakes and regrets." I love that line, it's wonderful you can say it, athat your mother can hear it... as well as your homemade CD to your mom.
Really lovely tribute--and a very happy birthday to your mother. :-)

Joanna Jenkins said...

You know Techno-- You never cease to amaze me. I've been reading you for a pretty long time and have gotten to know you through your blog. Some of your childhood stories have broken my heart, so for you to have such a gracious and loving post about your mom on her 90th birthday is inspiring!
Big hugs,
xo jj

Fancy said...

What a wonderful tribute to one so loved! Happy Birthday to your mother!!

Rock Chef said...

90 is good going by any standards, but even more remarkable given her health issues!

I am sure she will love the CD - can't beat something straight from the heart!

Shrinky said...

I don't know which has moved me the most, your touching account of the relationship between you and your mother, or the sweet words James left in his comment. You have travelled a long and oftentimes hard path dear lady, I am so glad you and she are now reconcilled.

beth said...

90 is a huge number especially with what she's been through. WOW !

happy birthday to your mom.....even with what you've both been through, your loving hearts shine !

lisleman said...

A very special post. 90 is a big number. My parents didn't make it through their 60's.
Would you be able to visit her?
I enjoyed the twilight zone story.

Sandra said...

Just telling about the song has me teary-eyed...happy birthday to your mom, and yes, you're absolutely right, 90 years is a lot of years! Good for her for the fight she clearly had all these years that kept her alive! And good for you for maintaining a relationship despite the many reasons you could have let go.

Stickup Artist said...

I got a chill reading about You'll Never Walk Alone and your randomly stumbling into it on netflix. By the end of the post, I had tears in my eyes. James' comment really underscored the individual and collective journeys and the deep bond between a 90 year old (wow) mom and her remarkable daughter!

Robert the Skeptic said...

Wow, 90. I should be so lucky.

Syd said...

That is awesome. I am so glad that your mother is still around. And that you have developed a good relationship with her.