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March 21, 2010

Along Came A Spider OMG!!!

I do not like spiders. I know they must have a purpose in nature and I am ever so grateful for their fulfilling their natural instinctual purpose. Just not around me. I wasn't even able to put a picture of a spider in this post. Uh uh. Even Lucy is in shock when she sees one!!

The first time a spider almost gave me a heart attack was right after my daughter and I moved into a house we called the tree house. She was 14 years old and her siblings weren't living at home by then. The upstairs addition was built like a tree house and the tall windows welcomed views of huge tree branches 360 degrees. It was great. Of course, the upstairs was my dominion.

One afternoon I bought a car load of groceries and parked the car by the back door to make it handier to shuttle the packages into the kitchen. On the next to last trip I stopped to talk to my daughter and we began putting the food away. It didn't seem like a long break, but when I opened the door to walk to the car for the rest of the groceries my nose touched the belly of a huge hairy spider. While I was inside that little while, the spider wove a criss cross web over the entire doorway! And was laying in wait for me to walk outside. It surprised me (and scared me) so much, I started panting for air and slowly backed up and could not speak. MY NOSE HAD TOUCHED A FRIGGIN' SPIDER! My eyes were so blurry by that time I couldn't describe the spider but I kept saying it was green and hairy. AND HUGE. That's all it took for me to never use the back door again. I know I am a woos, but I am the only one who can prevent me from having a heart attack. (That's why I don't do roller coasters or bungy jump). I only live like this for my good health.

Quite a few years later I was living in a townhouse by myself. Feeling pretty good about myself that I accomplished what looked like the impossible task sometimes: My kids were grown and on their own! I had my own place. I was renting a townhouse for awhile until I found a place to buy and fix up. (Oh yeah, I am into the fixing up stuff).

The downstairs half bath was large and the full size washer and dryer were stacked in that room. I worked from home and was always bare foot. Casual lifestyle and home office contributed to the attraction of working at home.

A week after I moved into the place, I ran downstairs to get a cup of coffee and ran into that downstairs bathroom for a quick stop. Just as I sat down, a brown spider ran out from under the washer. RAN. Not scurried. Ran right for my bare foot. I ran out of the bathroom. When I peeked around the corner later I didn't see the spider. I talked to some friends about that spider. This time I could give a good spidery description. My friends decided it must be a brown recluse spider. That's like telling someone who can't swim there is a man eating shark in their bath tub. I started wearing closed toe shoes to wash clothes and I stopped using that bathroom. When friends came over I told them to use the upstairs bathroom. I lived there for a year and a half and for the first time in my life wore shoes in the house. That spider had the power. And I was the one who gave it to him.

45 comments:

Shrinky said...

Oh, you poor, poor thing (haaaaaaa), no I am not laughing (tehee), not really (giggle), well, not AT you! See, I'm not keen on spiders either, 'cept the biggest ones we get over here are less than a palm span, and all are totally benign, so I am in NO postition to scoff, I know the varieties you guys can get are a whole 'nother story from ours. I was once hi-jacked when I helped out on a school trip to a wetland centre. A talk was given to the group, and I found myself voluteered to cradle a tarantula to everyone's fascination. My instincts were to run screaming for the door - I can't believe how brave I was!

Ramzu Zahini Abdul Aziz @ Shadowthorne said...

.... oh ok. So you hate spiders. I can understand that.

I used to have a couple of tarantulas, but they died because of me meddling. *sigh*

Or you can do what Garfield the cat always do to spiders... Swat them with a rolled up newspaper! :)

Ocean Girl said...

I like that finding and fixing-up a townhouse. I might do that at some point.

I have no problems whatsoever with spiders. I mean I would get away from poisonous ones but the regulars, I just ignore them.

But not c, a, t, s. That one I could not even say it out. Weird huh. I have jumped on tables just because I flipped onto a wrong page of home decor magazines!

Brian Miller said...

i had a dream about a spider last night...not a fan myself but..hope you have a great sunday...

DJan said...

Spiders are strange, aren't they? Apparently they are really smart, too, and although I like them, I can certainly see why you have developed a phobia about them. Tarantulas can be trained and some people keep them for pets. I guess that won't be you, though. Hope I didn't creep you out too much, I'll stop now while I'm ahead...

LadyFi said...

Poor you, says she giggling!

I have the same reaction to wasps! compared to them - spiders are actually kind of cuddly.. right?

Kulio said...

oh no!!

sorry!!!

this story made me laugh though - thanks for writing it, I like getting a peek into your life :-)

Jeanie said...

I was not laughing as I read this...I was cringing. I am also not a fan of spiders. I have never come nose-to-belly with one, and I hope I never do. When the kids hold a tarantula at nature exhibit places I can hardly stand it.

Margie said...

I have no fear of spiders(as a matter of fact, if I happen to find one in my house, I very gently wrap it in a papet towel and out the door it goes, Freedom!) but OMG, poor dear you!

Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful sunday!

Margie :)

Kristina P. said...

My husband hates them too! I hav come home sometimes to smell some type of spray, and I realize he's been out spraying our landing, for spiders.

He's a little girly when it comes to spiders.

Shadow said...

i'm am so with you on this one. spiders must stay away from me!

Ina in Alaska said...

Yikes! I am not particularly afraid of spiders in general but your spider visitors would absolutely terrify me too. Around my house whenever I see a spider, not anything what you describe, I gather it up in a cup and take it outside. They are great harvesters and eaters of those even uglier mosquitos we get around here. Hope your Sunday is restful. xoxo

Mrs4444 said...

Wow. That's funny. (sorry) Brown recluse spiders are deadly or something like that, right?

How come you never see "spider traps" in the hardware store? Hmmmm.

Jason, as himself said...

Wow. You need therapy.

And if it were snakes? I would be the same way. And I need therapy.

Scarlet Blue said...

You're not a wuss. I'm a wuss... I'm scared of British spiders - they are tiny and completely harmless, but I'm still scared of them.
Sx

Enchanted Oak said...

I like outdoor spiders. Indoor spiders get removed from life as quickly as possible. A brown recluse would terrify me. Their bite is horrific. I would have put a can of insect fogger in that bathroom and killed anything that moved. I've never seen a brown recluse, but have had to deal with black widows and they even look deadly. My sympathies, dear.

Sniffles and Smiles said...

I hate spiders as well, and so I totally relate to this post!! Great stories...and hilarious photo to put with them...captures my feelings exactly! Loved this! You have a wonderful sense of humor...Janine XO

Spencer L Casey said...

They don't eat much, you know. My mom loved spiders... all living things actually. Me, I'm just as likely to step on them as let them live. Just depends on my mood. Maybe you should do some shock therapy and get a tarantula as a pet. That ought to do it.

Cheers,

SLC

Hilary said...

I'm not a fan of spiders either, so I totally understand how you changed your habits to feed this fear. You're so right about how we give these fears our power.

Word verification is "wingy" - something I'm glad that spiders are not.

secret agent woman said...

You and my son are two peas in a pod - he is absolutely terrified of spiders. I dont't mind them unless one lands on my unexpectedly. Usually, I just catch them and take them outside.

terri said...

I'm so with you on this. I hate spiders! HATE HATE HATE them. They seem to love my lower level bathroom. I've learned to be quick though. When I catch a glimpse of one, they die a quick death by shoe.

lisleman said...

I guess you know that the brown recluse is a nasty one. Most spiders are harmless but don't care for them much when they are bigger than a quarter.
I have a great picture of one in the Missouri woods that I might have had on my face if I didn't spot it first. So I took picture instead of running into it. I guess I better not post that picture because I'll lose followers.

Unknown Mami said...

I don't know, I think that spider knew what it was doing and took the power.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Ugh! I feel the same way about snakes that you do about spiders. Hate 'em!

Hope your have a spider-less week.
jj

Kathy M. said...

Oh my gosh. That is so funny.

Once, when I was a kid, I ran out of the house and refused to go back inside until my mom came home because a large winged creature was in there.

My mom was skeptical about my tale of a bug the size of a hummingbird. Especially since she couldn't find any trace of it.

I could only say one of the cats must have eaten it.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Actually, Looooocy, brown recluses can hurt you so your fear was not ungrounded. I am intrigued by cobwebs and find arachnids incredibly interesting, but I always look to see if they are recluses or black widows before I get too cozy with them.

I also love tree houses but am kind of speechless that you have grown children. I somehow assumed you were much younger. You have a delightfully young spirit.

Eternally Distracted said...

I live in a country FULL of creepy crawlies of all shapes and sizes but in two and a half years I have never once seen a spider!! Not one... maybe it's too hot ;0)

Betty said...

We have so many creepy creatures here, a spider doesn´t scare me at all. Just take your shoe and squash it! Just now I took a folder (at work) and opened it and a tiny little lizard scurried away! Oh well.... :)

TechnoBabe said...

A couple of you mentioned using my shoe but I honestly am bare foot most of the time. That is my lifestyle. When I lived in that townhouse and the spider that maybe was a brown recluse spider took over the downstairs bathroom, I wore shoes inside for the first time. It is good to know so many others have the same fear or at least dislike of spiders that I do. Irrational as it may be, I have seen some horrible results of what spiders have done to some people and it has put the fear into me. By the way, I know wuss is spelled wuss but even when hubby pointed that out to me, I wanted to keep it woos because that shows how nervous I am even writing about spiders!

Kazzy said...

I would have done the exact same thing. I just lifted my feet as I read this post!

Julie said...

I LOVE the Lucy picture!! And your post, as always, rings true to life. I don't mind non-poisonous spiders if I see them on the floor or the ground. But I hate running into their webs! It creeps me out so badly. We have "garden spiders" down South, and I remember being terrified when I ran into one as a kid. If I run into a web, I'm convinced the spider is hanging in my hair, no matter how many times people tell me there's nothing on me. We also have black widows here, and I would freak out if one of those got anywhere near me.

Lou said...

You are right to fear spiders..they are vicious killers!!

I read back (glad I did), and saw the latest convent story. Once again, based on my husband's time in an orphanage, it rings so true.

Land of shimp said...

Hello :-) I have described elsewhere our reaction to "Policy Violators" ...we have a strict policy when it comes to the threshold of the house, "Cross it with more than two legs without invitation, and your life is potentially forfeit."

Murderous cries erupt when a Policy Violator is glimpsed, and much squishing ensues...but there are bug bombs you can use to get rid of spiders :-) Yes, it involves fogging your home, and to do so all pets (and people) need to be removed from the premises for a 24 hour period, but it's so worth it.

Next time you see one of the scurrying fiends, go all London During the Blitz on its hairy, eight-legged hide!

Murder, maim, destroy! Take no prisoners.

Or, if that fails, enlist the help of your vacuum. No kidding. I live in Colorado, and the state sign should read, "We breed Spiders here".

You + vacuum hose = mighty spider machine :-)

Slamdunk said...

Yikes. We all have our fears. I am usually ok with spiders, but walking through web after web on a trail in the woods does bother me.

Suldog said...

If it's any consolation, if spiders are around, usually other bugs won't be. The spiders eat 'em up! So, they might be scary, but they earn their keep (and, I'll be honest, I was very frightened of them when I was a kid, but not now.)

willow said...

I don't mind spiders, unless they're fuzzy and bigger than a bread box.

Syd said...

Being a scientist, I don't mind spiders. I have respect for the venomous ones though.

Ms Hen said...

We have a tarantula..very lovely how he moves his limbs..and so soft too.

I like spiders..they are feathery and get rid of bad flies I heard.

hugs..

Cheryl said...

Well this gave me the chills! I detest spiders. I would've fallen right over (out cold) if I had run right into a spider. Or run screaming down the highway. Now I will have to check the floor before I get down from this stool I am sitting on....

Everyday Goddess said...

I hate it when they hang out above my bed. Scary!!

Sassy Pants Freckle Face said...

love this and love you!

deb said...

Great story. Although I've kind of got those shivery creepy goosebump things.

I love the quote in your header, btw.

and I've finally added you to my blogroll. Things have been hectic, but I'm trying to catch up.

Jeni said...

You most definitely are not alone in having a fear of spiders! I can't say that I go into heart-stopping panic when I see one, but they do -momentarily at least -give me a start and a couple of heart palpitations ya know! But seeing as my daughter here (Mandy) is totally terrified of 'em, someone in the house has to remain cool and collected enough to find a shoe, paper to roll up, a fly swatter or any other thing of no true value with which to try to smack the living daylights out of any spider dumb enough to venture into our particular domain. In my mind, spiders and snakes are both in the category of better off dead!

Marla said...

I HATE SPIDERS!!!!

Oz Girl said...

I'm with you on the spiders. And for that very reason I almost always wear shoes or slippers. Always. :)