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March 25, 2010

Learning Curve

I was always a sucker for sweet nothings until I learned they are only zeroes dipped in sugar.

It is not wise to take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

The best form of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

A conscience is what hurts when all the other body parts feel so good.

Experience enables us to recognize a mistake when we make it again.

Try not to weigh more than the refrigerator.

Never lick a steak knife.

Some good things I have learned. Hah.

49 comments:

Jana said...

Those statements are so true but told in such a funny way, they seem delightful. Thanks for sharing your learning with us but more for making us smile!

Ronda Laveen said...

Very, very funny, TechnoBabe. Sage advice all. Don't team a sleeping pill with a laxative, huh? HA!

Brian Miller said...

ha. too funny, but some great wisdom there.

Shrinky said...

Ha, such wise words! Never lick a steak knife - love it! Thanks for making me smile.

Betty said...

Love these! Especially the one about cleaning! Best advice ever. :)

Rock Chef said...

Love the second one - you didn't really do this, did you?

Shadow said...

mmmm, that conscience one....

Jeni said...

Love this "learning curve!"
Sweeping the room with a glance -yep, I have to agree with that one as well as the sleeping pill with a laxative. Good words, my friend!

Jeanie said...

It sounds like there may be a good story or two behind some of these things you have learned.

Kazzy said...

Each one of these could be a post, I am sure. I love the one about conscience. Great thoughts.

Ina in Alaska said...

I had a good laugh about the sleeping pill and laxative!! Licking a steak knife.... horrors!!! Have a super Thursday, dear. xoxo

Sassy Pants Freckle Face said...

wisdoms to live by friend, toche!

Sarah said...

Giggle I loved every one. For some reason I could actually picture you as you were acting out each one funny girl!!
May I add one or two....
Always where a one piece when in the ocean.
Move your keyboard while reading funny posts like this one..as blowing coffee through your nose tends to short it out:)
Hugs and love, Sarah

Everyday Goddess said...

I've learned a few now too! Thanks!

Unknown Mami said...

I am so good at sweeping a room with a glance.

Sleeping pill with laxative would make for shitty sleep.

Marla said...

Thank you for sharing this. I am not sure that I have learned them all yet so good reminders. :-D

willow said...

Sweep the room with a glance. I like that.

Green-Eyed Momster said...

I love them all! You are very wise!

Thanks and hugs!!

Enchanted Oak said...

I like that bit about experience. I'm becoming a pro at recognizing mistakes. I make them so often.

Shadowthorne @ Ramzu Zahini said...

I LICKED on my steak knife. So? :)

Hilary said...

Ha .. very clever. :)

LadyFi said...

Oh, so funny... and true! I love the sweep the room with a glance... sounds like my kind of housework!

Talon said...

lol - I've perfected the sweeping glance.

Love your wisdom, TechnoBabe!

and what's up with that conscience thing? ;)

Lola Sharp said...

Man, I'm glad I don't take laxatives, or sleeping pills. *shudder* Rubber sheets? Depends?

Thanks for the mental picture. And the laugh. :o)

Dave King said...

A conscience is what hurts when all the other body parts feel so good.

Love that one...

Deidra said...

Oh, so very true. Funny, but true!

blueviolet said...

That's my kind of sweeping. Actually, I don't even have a broom, so it's my only option.

Those are all very sage words of advice, my friend!

deb said...

These are classic.
Each and every one.
Thanks for the laugh today, it was needed :)

lisleman said...

very good lessons.
A favorite of mine from Mary Schmich, Chicago Trib columist:
"Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth."

Just Breathe said...

Okay these are good ones.....

Anything Fits a Naked Man said...

I think my favorite may be the "sweeping glance!" Thanks so much for this amazing wisdom. I can't TELL you how much I needed it right now!

Have a great weekend!!

beth said...

these are GREAT !!!....really really great advice !

and my photos....the scratches.....it's a layer/texture :)

have a great weekend !!

secret agent woman said...

I remember reading the rule "Never eat anything bigger than your head."

Oz Girl said...

I'm lovin' number 3. LOL I'll need to adopt that one. And I'm very happy to say that I do not weigh more than the refrigerator. Yet. :-)

jodeeluna said...

The quotes are fantastic. I love to write quotes so this post perked my interest. Thanks for adding humor to my otherwise bland morning.

25BAR said...

the sleeping pill one is funny!

Realliveman said...

Funny! Great list! I'm posting it on my fridge as I type.

gayle said...

These are great!!

Syd said...

I like those things although I have licked a steak knife and not had a conscience at times when my body parts felt really good.

BrightenedBoy said...

Very good advice (and very funny).

Nancy said...

All good advice! Congrats on POTW!

slommler said...

LOL!! All great advice. Especially the sleeping pill and the laxative. Very good reminder! HA!
Congrats on your POTW
Hugs
SueAnn

She Writes said...

the laxative and sleeping pill, I need to never forget the lesson!

Congrats on POTW mention!

Land of shimp said...

Oh noooooo on one of those discoveries, and I think you know which one inspired that reaction!

Congratulations on the post of the week mention over at Hilary's blog, Technobabe! This was wonderful and funny.

Protege said...

Very entertaining; so much true in a few simple sentences.
I enjoyed this post very much; congratulations on your POTW mention.
Likewise thank you for your visit today and a kind comment.:)
Have a wonderful Easter,
xo
Zuzana

Daryl said...

Congrats on POTW mention from Hilary and thanks for visiting mine

TSannie said...

Snort! Thanks for the laugh (and the visit) and congratulations on your POTW mention! Deserved!

Dianne said...

sweep the room with a glance - definitely good advice

congrats on POTW

Joanna Jenkins said...

I can see why Hilary named this post in her POTW! Well said and great advice.
xo