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May 14, 2011

This Hurts Just Reading It


Cartoon found on Google. This post is re-posted thanks to Blogger being down.

Someone with a good sense of humor sent this story to me:

I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with "Hi, I'm Belinda!" This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, "All I need you to do is step into this room, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?" I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science." Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me to the left and said "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?" Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob wedged between those two four inch pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt, ZAP. Complete darkness and the power went off! "Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag." Belinda headed for the door. "Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I shouted. Belinda kept going and said "Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back...." Before I could shout NOOOO! she disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half naked, and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part smashed between glass. After exchanging polite "Hi, how's it going" type greetings, Bubba asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off. Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible "Uh, yes, yes I did thanks." "You bet, take care" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store. Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said "Oh, I am sooo sorry. The power came back on and I totally forgot about you. And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?" And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps.

35 comments:

Ms. A said...

Someone sent me this one a while back and I laughed out loud!

Shrinky said...

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Scary thing is, I half believe her, too!

Shadow said...

o m! g!

Rock Chef said...

Very good! Of course, I don't have to face that one, I just get a probing finger from time to time!

Cinner said...

This made me laugh and laugh. I have only had one mammogram so far, but I will be thinking about this next time
for sure. hope you are good, think about you often. hugs.

DJan said...

I fail to see the humor in this, it just hurts to think about it!!! Okay, maybe the part where she put the technicians head in the vice was almost funny... :-)

Eileen said...

Funny!
I hate mammograms and that picture says it all!
Thanks for the laugh!
All the best,
Eileen

Jeanie said...

I can only hope that things go a wee bit better at the mammogram appointment I have scheduled in a couple of weeks.

Brian Miller said...

hehe...ahem....can not imagine...ok, maybe just dont want to...

Dave King said...

I'll just say I enjoyed the cartoon!!

Betty said...

Ouch!

Lori said...

LOL Thank for the morning laugh...great medicine for starting my day. XX

Gary's third pottery blog said...

oh NO!!!!! TB, gosh......

Kristina P. said...

Eeek! Haha.

Margie said...

Oh, that cartoon!
I have a mammogram appt this afternoon but I have no fear!

Barbara said...

Love it! I go for mine next week and now I know to pray there's no power outage! My tech is a doll, though - I know she'd never forget me. I think I know that, anyway...

Kazzy said...

ROFL I totally felt her pain. Ouch!

Happy Frog and I said...

Ow, ow, ow!

blueviolet said...

Now that is hilarious!!!

Cricket said...

Heh, heh. Whew... glad I read this a second time and caught the "someone sent me this..." part, or I'd be leaving a totally different comment.

Still funny, though. And, lest you think I'm just a guy who doesn't get it, yeah, that's true, but I've lost enough women in my life to the big C that I still feel justified in saying "do it anyway."


Meanwhile, I'll thank God they don't check for testicular cancer that way.

Maggie May said...

Phew..... glad its a joke because that is a secret fear of mine to get trapped in the apparatus while having a mammogram or any other scanner........... cos I won't go in lifts/elevators either!
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Cricket said...

Ah. You've found your post again. Grrr, blogger. Well, can't say we don't get our money's worth.

Evidently, the old comments are not returning, unless you had to repost, and then I guess your post didn't return either.

I thought I had lost my next in drafts for a bit. Fortunately, it came back. Thought I would have to reconstruct, which is never the same for me. I don't always save to my actual computer. maybe I ought to.

Have a great rest-of-the-weekend.

Mrs4444 said...

I hurt just reading this. Hate those things....Beats the alternative, though :)

savannah said...

every woman's worse nightmare, sugar! LOL thanks for the laughs! xoxoxo

lisleman said...

Good thing they don't check for testicular cancer that way.
I'm lost for words here.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

OMG, yes, it is pretty much like that. I can't believe Bimbo left her there and went to lunch, and hope that poor woman sued her ass and the whole hospital. Ouch. I try not to think about mammograms except once a year because even the thought is painful.

TALON said...

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! And even while I'm wincing, I'm laughing! Because that cartoon is priceless!

I'm so glad Blogger is behaving again.

Hope you're having a beautiful weekend, TechnoBabe.

blueviolet said...

I know I commented on this before Blogger went down. Stupid Blogger! But it's funny in an ouchy pained kind of way. :)

Stickup Artist said...

Though the story is funny, that picture practically made me hit the floor! That's one of the funniest cartoons I've ever seen!!!

Mama Zen said...

Not guilty!

Joanna Jenkins said...

I scheduled my mammogram for later next week. Now you know what I'll be thinking about the moment the tech says "hold your breath". Ha!
xoxo jj

Donna B said...

LOL...I think lislesman is on to something...That cartoon exhibits the exact way I feel after a mammogram!

Margie said...

Well, I made it through my mammogram last week and it really wasn't that bad!
But that cartoon made me laugh!
Too funny!

Guess the comment I made earlier was eaten by Blogger...

Hope all is wonderful in your life, TechnoBabe.

Syd said...

A horrible thought. Men would feel differently if their testicles were squeezed in the vise of that machine.

CherylK said...

Oh. My. Gosh! That cartoon is priceless!!! And "chamber of horrors" is exactly what it is...funny, funny story!