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August 06, 2010

A Fork Is Just A Miniature Shovel


Sometimes I catch myself when I am eating and it seems like I am just shoveling it in as quickly as I can. Especially salad. It is easy to scoop up a forkful and throw it in the endless pit. Today I was eating salad and hubby and I were playing dominoes as we ate. I became aware of how much trouble it was to take one forkful at a time. How much easier it would be to have a giant spoon. I actually thought it would be a good idea to scoop my salad with a tablespoon, just think how much more I could pack in at one elbow bend!

If I had a miniature shovel, I could run a chain through the handle and wear it around my neck. Quite a novel accessory and plenty of gossip fodder if I wear it out to dinner. Can you imagine the other patrons sneaking sideways glances and pretending they don't see the shovel at work. Ah yes, I'm gonna add the mini shovel to my Christmas wish list. Perhaps hubby would be willing to accessorize and wear matching chain with a hatchet to cut our meat. Too much, what do you think? Maybe we should take a little vacation from Stephen King novels.

16 comments:

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Yes, maybe you really should, Annie. And Mr. Man, too!

anne h said...

In the Army, a miniature shovel is called an "entrenching tool." Fitting somehow!

James said...

Hubby says: Our dominos game is tweaked - it's Cut Throat Dominos™!

We don't keep score, and when we have say, a six, and a six is played, we can knock the others' six away and replace it with ours.

This is actually an eating management tool. We can't eat and slam dominos at the same time, right?

Mama Zen said...

You may be on to something!

One Woman's Journey said...

I found you on Ronni's site and looking forward to checking out your entries. Much different from my life in the past - and a lot the same. Good Luck to you wherever you are on your pathway of life. I am near the approaching the finish line...

Attila The Mom said...

snarf. Bahahahaha!

Kazzy said...

If I saw someone with a little mini-shovel on a chain around their neck I would laugh my head off!

CherylK said...

If I saw someone with a mini shovel around their neck I would get the heck out of there - ha!! But I know what you mean with the fork metaphor...that'd be me sometimes, I'm ashamed to say!

Stickup Artist said...

I'd just as soon go all Viking and scoop it in with my hands. But a mini shovel is the next best thing.

Julie said...

I almost choked on my tea when I read this (from laughing). Oh, my gosh...I can just picture you with the shovel necklace. And hubby with a hatchet necklace...haha! I would so love a necklace like that, and I would wear it out to eat, just to freak people out. I love your wit, Technobabe!

The Empress said...

now, now, go slower, chew each bite... it's better for you.

right. I shovel it in as fast as I can.. I'm just too hungry when I finally eat!!

Roxy said...

There are some days when a dozer would be more appropriate for my hunger, lol!

Rose said...

Maybe you need a mini shovel spoon?

Syd said...

I have to laugh at the imagery.

The Absence of Alternatives said...

I think that's a wonderful idea! Many wonder how Chinese eat rice with chopsticks. Silly. We shovel those rice in with the chopsticks while holding the bowl to our mouths. See? You have the endorsement of 5000 years of Chinese wisdom.

Marla said...

ROFL!!