August 13, 2010
I Just Want To Be Friggin' Happy
For Pete's sake, I just want to be happy. As a young girl, I would visit the neighbors and ask them if I could live with them. They would tell me I already had a family and I would tell them I didn't want to live with them. Couldn't I come live there and I would work really hard and not be any trouble. They always sent me home after giving me a little treat. I didn't want the treat, I wanted a home with a family. I would walk up and down the streets where we would be living at the time, sometimes along a highway, sometimes a rural road, a couple places in a housing neighborhood, and while walking I would wish and wish that someone would pick me up and take me away.
There are very few pictures of me growing up but every one has a scowl on my face and brooding eyes. No joy shining through because there wasn't any.
I carried that morbid sad faced little girl around inside me most of my life. Then I faced that little girl and grew to accept her pain and love her. Now I move on and take deep breaths and learn about joy. I welcome happiness into my life now with wide open arms and heart. And I think my smile is genuine and sometimes it reaches my eyes.
Which I don't show here.
Actually, the photo courtesy of greenbeanmama and found on google.
Posted by CiCi