June 15, 2008
Tributes To Deserving Fathers
Sometimes the reward for surfing the blogs is finding a post like this one at Cookie's Oven. This is a heavy subject for me personally. I would never attempt to describe my father to anyone but a shrink or my husband. My brother and I have been able to talk about our childhood twice as adults, trying to skim over the most painful episodes and keep the conversations on the surface.
Throughout my life I have been exceptionally interested in other peoples families, enjoying seeing them interact and tell their family stories. I have been feeding on their histories and taking some of the emotions into my being and relishing those feelings in place of my own.
When I was three and four years old, my father would supervise my early learning. He barely finished eighth grade and he only had two percent vision, so he could barely see the scratchy numbers and letters I would write on the small chalkboard while sitting on the kitchen floor. These peaceful moments were few and far between but that at least is a good memory.
The past two years I have been determined to release the negative emotions and enjoy the freedom that peace brings. Becoming part of the family I am now married into has filled the void; I am now part of a family. I am getting to "know" the man who was their father and I now understand what it is to honor a dad who takes care of his family and teaches by example how to be a husband and a productive part of the community while making time to have personal time for each of his children. So for me, I don't have a substitute dad, but by being part of this family I benefit because there is love enough for all of us. So Happy Fathers Day and for the first time I mean it and speak it joyously.