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June 22, 2008

Seeing Life Clearly

I have been working on many things within myself the past year. The result has been the clarity and calm that has been showing up in my life. Breaking through the barriers takes work.

When I began the journey of recovery, I had no expectations regarding results or timing. I just knew I wanted better health both emotionally and mentally. Most people who would meet me throughout my life thought I had things pretty well under control, maybe just some bad luck with relationships. Not so. I have been running scared my whole life. With fear in the drivers seat, I was unable to think clearly or see what I needed in order to live a productive, happy life. Consequently, I have been unhappy and unfulfilled and spending precious energy keeping it under wraps because I sure wouldn't trust anyone to know the real me. From an early age I discovered that if I showed a tiny glimpse of a weakness it would be used to hurt me.

For the first time I am living every day in a real world with someone who wants what is best for me and works with me to discover my desires and my potential while at the same time is working on taking care of himself. For people like me, this is astonishing. And such a blessing.

2 comments:

Michael said...

That is indeed a blessing. I am glad for you.

Take care
michael

Fancy said...

A thoughtful article, Technobabe! You have discovered the eternal truth that change from the inside is necessary for the beauty of the human soul. Thank you for sharing!